Phase 2 of My 3 Phase Life

I am not sure I like this title.  It sort of sounds like I'm on the downhill slide of life and going fast.  Not the meaning behind it though, it just sounds like it.

Phase 1 was when I got married and had kids.  The boys were fabulous.  Except for that little twerp Zach.  Boy did he give us anxiety!  No, seriously....he was a very needy baby and extremely tempermental and if you don't believe me just ask anyone that was at Thousand Pines Family Camp in Crestline California in May of 2002, (cabin 15 to be exact), and mention the "ba-ba chockit milk" incident.  That boy's never gonna live it down.  But he's grown into a wonderful young man that is my little warrior, my gentleman and just one of three reasons I live and breathe.  Completely beside the point, I just had to make up for that twerp comment.  Anywho, back to phase 1. You know how it is.  Your kids are born, you feel all queen-like for this amazing creation and you figure out what works and what doesn't and you get into a routine.  You really talk up Santa, Lucky the Leprechaun, troopin fairies, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.  You totally get into it and buy into the pretend stuff.  It's a lot of fun.  And then they get older and they hear from one of their damn friends that Santa isn't real and their mom's are the tooth fairy.  So you change the way you word things like, "Yes, the spirit of Santa is real".  That bought us about another 6 months before the jig was up. 

Enter Phase 2, where we are now.  We are so completely out of the whole Santa, Easter Bunny, etc phase it's almost like it never existed.  No one wakes up early on Christmas morning in anticipation of what Santa put under the tree.  Now the talk is about penises and farts and other bodily functions.  Not that I don't appreciate a good fart joke every now and again but still.  I don't get to buy Easter baskets anymore and fill plastic eggs or even color hard boiled eggs.  In some ways I'm grateful.  Ok, honestly in most ways I'm grateful.  I always felt pressure that I didn't get them the right things or I didn't get them enough.  Now they get nothing and I don't have to shop and I don't have to worry.  It's pretty much a win win.  Right now I'm listening to Ryan teach Zach how to work the hand held mixer to make the brownies they've both been craving.  This, this I am truly enjoying.  Listening to them cooperate for a change, one instructing the other (and in a nice way!) is music to my ears.  This stage in their lives where they understand each other on an "adult" level...it's a beautifully sweet thing.  Give it 40 minutes when the brownies are done and see if they don't fight over who gets the first piece, but for now, it is what it is.

I'm looking forward to Phase 3 but certainly not any time soon.  This is the phase when I will get to sort of start over again with the whole Santa, Easter Bunny thing with my grandchildren.  The most wonderful thing about it though is that I will be able to load them up on chocolate bunnies and jelly beans and send them home.  I think I'm gonna love Phase 3!  Not that I'm in any hurry, of course.