This week has my permission to end. This month has my permission to become a distant memory. It's been a crazy, busy, frustrating, sad, sad, sad week.
Work is insane but it is to be expected with the end of the year stuff going on for the school. April goes by fast for us. May will be one week longer than we expected due to snow days but it, too, will go by fast. Then I will be done and hopefully move on to my summer job (if I for sure have one, still not 100% yet).
But the sad, sad, sad part of the week is, my Grandma passed away yesterday. I feel happy and sad at the same time. I'm not sad for her, she's with other family that has gone before us and she's happy and healthy again. She's with Jesus. I'm sad for us, the ones she left behind. I'm sad for her kids and us grandkids. I'm especially sad for the great grandkids that will never know her like we did. They will never have Red Rover adventures in the backyard of the bird farm. Or Thanksgiving at Grandma's. In all reality, we haven't been able to have those things for years and years at her house for various reasons. It was great being a kid and being able to shimmy up the tree and pick tangelos and run from those damn Cape Barren Attack Geese. And if you can picture me trying to climb a tree.....jeez Louise. It never quite worked out for me. Grandma let me and my cousin Shelley make chocolate chip cookies once and sell them at the bird farm. We had a few customers but they tried to talk us down on the ones with the burnt bottoms.
When I was young we'd go to Powwow's and Grandma would be making Indian Fry Bread with her Indian Ladies group. She'd wear her turquoise or her beaded indian necklace. It was fun going to those. And every summer she'd take grandkids to her house in Prescott where we'd stay for about 2 weeks at a time and walk, walk, walk everywhere! I have very, very fond memories of the time at the Prescott house with Grandma and Grandpa.
It seems like as we get older we forget those things that really made our childhood special or different, or we just get too busy to remember. I don't want to do that. I want to remember and cherish those things that made spending time with her special.
Here is one thing I do remember and will never, ever, EVER forget! My brother Johnny's birthday is about the same time as Grandma's. I had everyone sign both cards and when I handed them over to be signed I said, "this one is for Johnny, this one is for Grandma". Only Steve got them mixed up and signed the one to my Grandma, "Happy Birthday Sweet Pants". If you are reading this and don't know Steve, Johnny or my Grandma, this is probably not pee your pants funny to you. But if you do know them.... I just can't stop smiling over that one!
Anyway, I will miss my Grandma but I know she's in a much better place than we are. And that thought makes me happy.
10 comments:
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Aw, I'm so sorry for your loss. When I lost my grandfather a few years back I was devastated. I had the same thoughts as you. I felt sad that my kids wouldn't get to do the same things with him that I did, or have the same memories that we shared. He never met my husband or my two youngest and I still think about this almost every day. It breaks my heart.
I'm thinking of you and your family during this awful time. And yesterday must have been a sad day overall, I lost my cousin to lung cancer.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. When there's a connection with a grandparent like that, it makes it all the more difficult for us. I hope the next few days aren't too difficult for you. Knowing that you're surrounded with your own family can hopefully make things a little easier.
~Wendie
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Thank you all for your kind words. And Kimberly, I'm sorry about your cousin, that's terribly sad. My thoughts and prayers are with your family as well.
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Sorry about your sweet grandma. It sounds like she is an amazing lady.
I like to think my grandmas are watching over my kiddos. Hopefully they they aren't scared away by my messy house. :)
Hugs for you and your family.
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I am sorry for your loss but the memories will live on. You are lucky to be surrounded by family. Here is a poem I found when my grandmother died.
“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
David Harkins quotes
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HI from your newest follower. I enjoyed your blog so much the sadness only because of the memories others won't get to share in. I too think this way in a month it will be 2 years since my Mom passed away I think she is out of her cancer pain and enjoying gardening with God.
Loved your blog Sincerely Rachel♥
http://www.ourcreativehands.com
http://ourcreativehands.blogspot.com
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Thank you all so much for your kindness! Glynis, I love that quote, it's very fitting!
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Your right that she's with family now - she sounds like the perfect grandmother. I'm really sorry to hear that she passed Dorothy. By the way it sounds your going to be keeping her memory alive for family who didn't have a chance to get to know her - I'm sure that makes her smile : D
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What great memories! I love the way you are remembering your Grandma in this post. Hopefully this week will bring more great memories, both to remember and make.
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Great story about your Grandma sweet girl. :)