Keep your pants on! Things you never thought you'd say to your tween.

My kids would rather go naked than wear clothes. Even in the dead of winter. It's below freezing out and Zach wanted to wear shorts to school this morning. Every day it's the same thing: I force him to wear pants to school and he does but the turd wears shorts underneath. By the time I pick him up from school he's only got shorts on. When the mornings were cold last week but the afternoons got up to almost 50 degrees this wasn't a problem, although I suspect that as soon as he gets out of my sight he's peeling off the pants and going in shorts all damn day.

Like I said, this morning he tried to wear just shorts. It's 0 out. Zero. ZERO! Oh no, I said, you are wearing pants. And by the way he refuses to wear jeans. So it's all basketball pants. Not even thicker sweatpants or fleece or anything, so it's not like they are warm. So he puts pants on over the shorts and we walk out the door. He's getting out of the car, the door wide open and I look at him and shout, "KEEP YOUR PANTS ON! I SWEAR ZACHARY, YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR PANTS ON TODAY!" And don't even get me started on the fact that neither boy will wear a coat.