Up Yours, Yoshi

The two little boys I have here are 4 and 5 and they like video games.  They have a hard time playing them because they lack the coordination but they still want to play them all the time.  When they can't do something on any of the games they turn to me.  The adult.  The one that should know how to do stuff. 

But when it comes to video games, I don't.  No matter what character I play, be it Peach, Mario or Yoshi or what course I follow, in which cup race, like the Banana Cup, or the Flower Cup, I just can't manage.  My sense of direction is way off.  Hand-eye coordination, zilch.  I run my character into every wall, every creature, every guard rail and even drive in the wrong direction.  I am constantly driving into the ocean or any nearby pool or water.  I've learned the darker water equals death for the character. 

It's not just with Mario Kart.  It's with any video game.  Iron Man...forget it.  Poor Tony Stark walks around in circles when I'm at the controls.  The 4 year old figured out how to make him fly.  The 5 year old figured out how to make him shoot.  Between the 3 of us we should have it figured out by the end of summer. 

There has never been any hope for me when it comes to any kind of entertainment games.  When my boys were younger we had Rock Band.  I could not figure out the guitar to save my life.  And they give you the color coordinated song stuff ahead of time!  Zach took mercy on me so I could be included one time and had me hold one part of the guitar while he did the colored musical (important) parts.  Finally, he got fed up with my inability to do it right and made me quit.  He was very nice and patient for an 8 year old.

Video games don't suit me but neither does any other boy game at all.  I can't make proper vehicle sounds.  My sirens sound like Patrick Star from Spongebob -weewoo weewoo weewoo- and my guns sound puny.  Pew-pew-pew.  That's what I got. 

It's ok though, my inability to play like a boy doesn't seem to really matter in the bigger picture.  My boys quickly came to understand that I would never be able to play video games with them.  Or army guys.  Or cowboys and Indians. 

These little boys here now are quick learners.  It's only taken them a week to realize I can't do those things either!