Ok, that is the title of a book already published (not by me of course, I could never be that clever. Like how I made never and clever rhyme? Yeah, me too.) But seriously, my Dad is a funny guy. Only you have to know him for him to be funny. You have to look at his face when he says something for him to be funny. He is quick whitted and dry. And often starts a story with, "Oh, Alicia, you would have DIED..."
He's the guy that wears an "I LOVE HUGS" button at family functions but tells my little sister that they don't give drivers licenses to buck toothed skanks. And to clarify Amy is not buck toothed nor is she a skank. But said in his dry way and with the quick whit, my brother and I were rolling! Ok, so that probably just makes him look like a jerk. But really, he's not.
He's the guy that takes 2 of my nephews and my sister's 8 year old brother in law to Sam's club, buys cans of Spam for each of them, goes to the antique store, the comic book store and sometimes the movies. This is on a regular basis. Everyone gets something on these little outings with Dpa, even if only a can of Spam. My sister in law lets the boys eat the Spam and then sends them over to Dpa's house for the rest of the day. Actually he told me she's banned the Spam.
He's the place where dreams go to die. His words, not mine. Which actually makes him sound like a jerk again. Boy, his hilarity is not transferring well at all! In all reality it just means that he will tell you the honest truth about stuff and not sugar coat it in any way. He's always the one that will be honest and bring you down to earth, no matter what your grand ideas are. Not that he's not a supporter of dreams, because he is. Mostly. But he'll tell you all the possibilities that could happen, good or bad and even things you've never thought of. It's helpful. Mostly.
So, I'm going to think on where I was going with this post and try to think on how I can translate his funny bone onto it!
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I get it. He sounds like my mom, who likes to call my sisters and me whores. We're not, of course. It's all in jest. She is also brutally honest, which is a quality I inherited from her. You want to know if you look fat in those pants, just ask us. Haha